


Answer with a Question

by DecemberCamie



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, Comfort, Fluff, Hurt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 17:10:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9451730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecemberCamie/pseuds/DecemberCamie
Summary: Gon stares at his best friend. Killua isn’t doing anything out of the ordinary- just standing there in a simple and dark long sleeved shirt, silver hair still damp from a shower. He is thin and dangerous as a knife, scar-dotted skin as soft and pale as cotton sheets.And Gon’s heart aches just looking at him.He doesn’t want Killua to go.But its not up to him.“Do you, um,” he stammers, throat tight and burning, and Killua glances up at him. “I mean. Do you need any help with that?”





	

**Author's Note:**

> simple summary: seven questions, two boys, one unbreakable bond

**_I._ **

“How old are you?”

Killua asks the question because he needs to know.

He’s seen other kids his age, of course. But that was during missions, with dried blood under his nails and the smell of death in his nose, and Killua-

Doesn’t want that anymore. 

The curiously bright eyed boy tilts his head to the side. 

“I’m twelve years old!”

_The same as me,_ Killua thinks and hope filters into his heart like flowers growing through a crack in the wall-

And that was that.

 

* * *

 

**_II._ **

Gon wakes up to the sound of waves crashing against the shore and a warm breeze caressing his hair. 

He’s not sure why he woke up; they leave the window open more often then not during hotter days, and the sounds and hints of life around Whale Island are never enough to stir him. So, why?

He rolls over to look at the floor, stops, and blinks.

Ah. That’s why.

He doesn’t bother putting on real clothes before he’s climbing out his bedroom window- the same one Killua must have taken to avoid making noise by leaving the front door- and lands on the soft grass next to Aunt Mito’s garden.

It doesn’t take long to find him. Killua might be an assassin, but he’s Gon’s friend and friends don’t have to see things to know them. And Gon knows that Killua has a nervous habit of checking his shadow even when the sun is down, and that sometimes even being on an island in the middle of the ocean isn’t enough to make him forget the emotionless eyes that were once glued to his back.

“Killua?” Gon says softly, careful not to startle the moonlight-drenched figure at the edge of the cliff. 

Killua doesn’t even jump. He just says: “Gon.” and Gon’s heart leaps at the call of his name.

“What’re you doing out here?” Gon shuffles closer until they’re standing shoulder-to-shoulder, gazing out at the waves flinging themselves against the rock below them.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Killua never sleeps, not really. The slightest rustle has him wide awake and frozen on the mattress and Gon knows that from the bed they shared in Heavens Arena, even when they didn’t have to.

Its because Killua doesn’t feel safe. He’s scared about things like family and heirloom and shadows that his training won’t let him forget.

Gon scuffs his foot against a pebble. He watches it fall off the edge and plummet into the water as he says, “You’re safe here, Killua. No one can reach you while you’re on Whale Island.”

Killua laughs but its not a happy sound.

“I know,” he says. “That’s why I can’t fall asleep.”

Oh.

Gon isn’t sure how to respond, so he doesn’t say anything for a minute or two. Killua doesn’t speak either, just stares out at the horizon like he’s waiting for something. Maybe he’s looking for a shooting star, or maybe the rising sun that won’t come for a few hours from now. Gon doesn’t know.

Gon just knows this: Killua’s never felt safe enough to sleep peacefully. Now that he’s with Gon, he still can’t sleep because being safe is so new and fresh and trust is something that still comes hard to Killua and probably will for a long time.

But Gon is Killua’s friend, and he doesn’t mind waiting.

He finally says, “You can share my bed with me, if you want. Like we did during Heavens Arena? That way you don’t have to be scared of accidentally letting your guard down. If anyone comes to take you away again, I’ll punch them in the face like I did with Hisoka.”

Killua sputters and his face turns red and something light flickers into his blue eyes and Gon is-

Gon is happy.

 

* * *

 

**_III._ **

“Do you need help with that?” Killua asks, eyebrows raised.

Gon squeaks and drops his ribbon in surprise. His cheeks are flushed red when he turns to face Killua and Killua can’t help the bubbling laughter that comes tumbling out of his mouth.

Gon is so rarely embarrassed, or in a suit. Its a nice change in both regards.

“Well?” he says as a grin spreads across his lips. “Do you?”

Gon deflates. “…yeah. Please.”

Killua jumps off the chair, snags the ribbon off the floor, before making his way over to his friend. Gon tilts his head up for him as he slides the bow around Gon’s collar. 

The suit is chessboard black and white. Sharp contrasts in a silk-like fabric, a single pale flower pinned to Gon’s chest. The colors don’t exactly fit Gon, who’s tanned skin shines better against earth tones like _gold-brown-green_ , but Killua thinks there are worse colors to wear.

Bleeding scarlet red, for example.

“Done,” he says and steps back. 

Gon twists around to look at himself in the mirror. His eyes widen in wonder and his jaw drops.

“Wow! Killua, that bow is perfect! How’d you get so good at that?”

Hot, uncomfortable heat creeps up his neck. Killua shrugs and mumbles, “Practice.”

He doesn’t say: _my father used to take me to meetings with people looking for our services, or, I had to wear suits to kill people more times then I can count, or-_

“Killua? Zepile just texted me that he’s here. Are you ready to go?”

His head snaps up to find Gon smiling at him, gentle and soft and somehow understanding even though Killua didn’t _say_ anything.

Its creepy how well Gon can read him, sometimes. Even when Killua is hiding behind locked lips and closed eyes.

Killua shoves his hands in his suit pockets. “Yeah. Let’s go get your dad’s stupid game. Your plan better work.”

Gon grins. 

“It will. We’ll be playing Greed Island soon! Its just a matter of time.”

And Killua believes him.

 

* * *

 

_**IV.** _

They’re sitting on the trunk of a fallen tree, Kite’s team looking like tiny ants off in the distance between leaves and branches, when Killua asks:

“Do you ever wonder if we’ll find him?”

Gon pauses, apple halfway to his mouth, and frowns.

“Who?”

Killua kicked his feet against the bark. It makes a hallow _thunk_ -ing sound. “You know. Ging. Your dad.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?” Killua repeats sarcastically. “Is that all you have to say? _Oh?”_

Gon lifted one shoulder non-nonchalantly; he doesn’t get why Killua is asking this so suddenly. He’s never questioned Gon’s mission before.

Gon says slowly, “I’ll find Ging sooner or later. Even if we somehow end up with someone else Ging knew after Kite, even if there’s someone after that…eventually, we’ll get there. I’m not gonna give up until I see him.”

“You weren’t listening.”

_…huh?_

Gon looks at Killua. He has his best _I-can’t-believe-you-weren’t-paying-attention_ expression on, blue eyes narrowed to slits, lips pursed.

“What?” Gon says stupidly and Killua sighs.

“I asked if you ever _wondered_ if you were going to find him,” Killua explains. “Not if you would actually do it! I know that, already.”

Gon makes a face. Killua likes using words like puzzles, slicing and dicing them to fit his exact needs. Killua is smart like that. Gon just says what’s on his mind and that’s that.

He turns back to his apple. He takes a bite before speaking with a muffled voice, “I never really thought about it. I used to a lot when I was younger, though.”

“What changed?” Killua asks.

Gon chews that over for a while. The answer should be simple: he’s a Hunter, now. He’s got Nen, now. He’s older, more determined now to chase something just always out of reach. He’s a thrill chaser.

Any of those answers would work. But they’re not the truth.

“I have you, now!” he says honestly and Killua’s legs freeze mid-kick. “And as long as we’re together, I know we can do anything! So there was never anything for me to ever wonder about after we met.”

Killua’s cheeks are as red as Gon’s apple and Gon can’t help but laugh at the sight.

 

* * *

 

**_V._ **

There are a lot of questions Killua would’ve liked to ask Gon before that fateful midnight.

For example:

_Do you really think Kite can be brought back to life? Or are you just kidding the yourself, burying the truth so far down you don’t even know its there?_

_What are you planning to do to Pitou? Will you survive the collision?_

And even worse:

_Are you okay?_

(Killua already knows the answer and its not pretty.)

_What can I do to help?_

(He’s not even sure if there’s a point to asking this. Gon will do what Gon wants, like always. All Killua can do is offer his support. Even if Gon doesn’t want it. Even if he shatters Killua’s heart into a trillion tiny fractures that scatter into the air, too small to see with the blind eye.)

In the end, Killua doesn’t ask Gon anything. Because Killua is scared. He’s only fourteen and terrified that is best friend is slipping away to someplace he can’t reach-

And Killua knows the truth:

_Unanswered questions are often less painful then the answered ones._

 

* * *

 

**_VI._ **

Gon bursts into their shared hotel room with enough force to send the door crashing into the adjacent wall.

“Will you call me?!” Gon blurts out, unable to hold back any longer.

Killua is standing at the edge of his and Alluka’s bed. He gapes at Gon as he holds one of his old shirts above an open suitcase.

“I- what?” Killua says weakly and lowers the shirt.

Gon’s heart twists painfully. He knows that shirt. It feels like a lifetime since he last saw it. Killua had worn that tang top the day he and Gon left Whale Island, before the Troupe and Greed Island and the Ants and Gon’s resurrection.

Before Killua told him that he was leaving.

Gon swallows thickly. “Will you…will you call me? From wherever you are with Alluka. I know you’ll be busy but. I- I would really like it, if you could.”

Killua gives him an odd look. “You don’t think I’ll call you? After I went all the way back to my parent’s home, barely managed to escape with Alluka and faced off with Illumi just to get you back? Jeesh.” He shook his head and went back to folding his clothes. “Yee of little faith, Gon. I’m hurt.”

Gon stares at his best friend. Killua isn’t doing anything out of the ordinary- just standing there in a simple and dark long sleeved shirt, silver hair still damp from a shower. He is thin and dangerous as a knife, scar-dotted skin as soft and pale as cotton sheets.

And Gon’s heart aches just looking at him.

He doesn’t want Killua to go.

But its not up to him. 

“Do you, um,” he stammers, throat tight and burning, and Killua glances up at him. “I mean. Do you need any help with that?”

Killua’s answering smile is gentle. Its obvious he remembers the age ago when he had asked Gon the same thing- when they were still standing side-by-side in suits, waiting to find Greed Island. Waiting for adventure.

“Sure,” Killua says and Gon bites his lip to keep it from trembling.

 

* * *

 

**_VII._ **

_Ring…Ring…Ri-_

“Hello?!”

“KILLUA!”

“Ha, hey. Where have you been? I haven’t heard from you in a while. Did you loose service on Whale Island or something?”

“Nope! I’m not on Whale Island anymore, actually.”

“…what’s that supposed to mean-”

“Killua. Killua, can I ask you something?”

“You already know the answer to that.”

“Heh, maybe. I wanted to make sure, first.”

“You can ask me anything, Gon. Anytime, anyplace…any way you want to talk to me, I’ll be there.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Of course, stupid! I wouldn’t lie about something like that!”

“Then, Killua. Would you like to see me again?”

“…”

“Killua?”

“Gon. Where are you?”

“Turn around, Killua.”

“…I don’t- oh, holy- GON!!! GON YOU _IDIOT,_ WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE COMING-”

_Click_

**Author's Note:**

> I’m currently working on two longer fics (Big Bang and [the hanahakai au thing](http://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/tagged/hanahaki-au)) and I forgot how exhausting writing longer fics are for me? On one hand its cool to see something that big come together as you go along but on the other hand…it takes forever to complete.
> 
> So I wrote this instead as a break ^^; And everyone on tumblr seemed to like it so I brought it over here! Thank you for reading~
> 
> [Link to my tumblr](http://decembercamiecherries.tumblr.com/)


End file.
